About me

For reasons that, so far, seem to elude physicians & scientists alike, whenever I fart, it smells like fresh roses.
Now, my doctor has stated to me, (off the record, of course) that I shouldn't rule out the possibility that it may due to the idea that I may very well be the much prophesized Second Coming.
However, as it is evidenced by the sloppy, sloth-riddened girth of my fat @ss (induced in major part by the amount of my life that I've wasted sitting on it in front of the computer, emptily commiseratin' with my fellow Listalophiles, posting girlfight videos on youtube & downloading onion-booty porn) I am not a person who shoulders responsibility all too well. Let alone leading an entire worldwide community out of sin.
Therefore,
I'm hoping that this enigmatic flatuent dilema o' mine is not actually a Divine bestowary, but is somehow more of a result of my diet.
Otherwise,
I'm screwed.

As would be all of you.

Because, lemme tell you something,
if my pimp-@ss is gonna go down ( or in this case, the proper term may be "up"),
I'm taking as many of you f%#kers with me as I can.
I can guarantee y'all,
that this time around,
there ain't gonna be none of this "Forgive them for they know not what they do" bullsh#t.

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